As I sit here watching a wonderful woman deep clean my house (I splurged and paid for a housekeeper), I can’t help but wonder when/if I’ll be able to do this all again myself. Obviously, at some point vacuuming and dusting will be a possibility, but I can’t help but feel frustrated about the idea of not being able to do things the way I want them done. I’ve struggled with control issues my entire life (as in, I want things done my way and I clearly know what’s best) and I know it causes strife in my relationships. For example, my husband will vacuum and then I feel compelled to re-do it because he missed a spot or because it isn’t exactly the way I think it should be done. It’s an issue and I know it. I hear things like, “Let go, and let God” and “It takes more energy to control than to let go”. Welllllll, I doubt God is going to stop by and vacuum the house before surgery on Thursday. I’m a work in progress and I have a deep, nagging feeling that this surgery is going to cause me to face this little issue of mine square in the ugly, old, nasty controlling face! One of my post-surgery goals is to focus on my body and healing instead of the water spots on the bathroom mirror. Hopefully one of you out there will remind me of this in a few weeks when I’m watching the dust fall blissfully onto the coffee table and trying to resist the urge to clean out the garage. 🙂
